Monday, June 13, 2011

One Love: part two point five

Several weeks ago, as I was sitting at my desk in the dorm I no longer live in on campus, a ladybug landed on my finger. My window wasn't open, and I had no plants in the room at the time. Where had she come from? I felt compelled to research a bit about symbolism and messages from ladybugs. Multiple sources informed me that the myth of ladybugs in Asian tradition is thus:
"if caught and then released, the Ladybug will faithfully fly to your true love and whisper your name in his/her ear. Upon hearing the Ladybug's message your true love will hurry his/her way to your side."
While my Love and I have been separated by distance for the last few months, I was excited by this story and went to release Ladybug and fulfill the prophecy. I held my hand out the window and waited. And waited. And shook my finger a little bit and whispered, "go!" Ladybug was settling on my finger and I blew a little wind onto her back hoping to incite her wings to fly, but to no avail. I stood with my hand out the window for a few more minutes until she flew off and I was content.

Last week, during my trip down to San Francisco and back up, after quite a bit of emotional turmoil, some shifts in my relationships, and car trouble, I saw Ladybug. I was sitting outside of the Les Schwab, waiting for my tires to be replaced and trying to focus on my breathing after a particularly cathartic cry session, and I looked down at the plant next to me. Lo and behold, Ladybug was there. She had indeed flown to my true love. Me.

I'm going to let that sound self-centered and narcissistic for about a minute before returning to the statement I made in my last post about capital-l Love and the arrows pointing inwards. I can't possibly love anything or anyone else fully or purely unless the love is sourced internally- a well that flows in abundance and covers everything in the water of capital-l Love. I have to be the first to get wet. (excuse the dirty pun).

More later

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